The Best Man: An Invaluable Asset to Any Wedding! Friday, Jun 29 2007

Contributor: Dean Guadagni

Weddings are often the most intricate and well planned affair that a couple will ever coordinate in their life together. It is a day of remembrance, sharing, and celebration of a new beginning. The planning of such an affair takes careful consideration and an understanding of each person’s role in producing an event to be remembered for a lifetime.

One of the most under appreciated yet important roles to the success of a wedding event is that of the Best Man. Many tasks and rituals are performed by the Best Man; because of the nature of these rituals and tasks, the first step is to choose the correct Man for the job.

The following critical factors should be considered when the groom is making his Best Man selection:

History of Friendship: How long have you known your potential Best Man? Has he been a solid friend throughout your life or a good portion of it? Has your Best Man been the guy you would call first in an emergency?

Past Behavior: Is your Best Man a responsible person? Does he show a dedication as a friend? Does he have manners, character, and an understanding of etiquette?

Intuition: Do you have a “gut feeling” that your choice of a Best Man is the best choice based on your intuition?

Keep in mind that many grooms wish to honor their fathers with the Best Man role. Although this is a kind and generous gesture, it is often best to allow your father to enjoy the wedding with your family.

Choosing between brothers can often bring unwanted hurt feelings. If one brother is not a clear cut favorite friend over any other, then it is best served if you choose a best friend to be the Best Man. Your brothers will feel equal importance as your groomsmen; they will support your choice more readily.

The tasks and rituals performed by a Best Man vary depending upon many factors. The following is a list of some these very important tasks and rituals you may wish to review with your Best Man:

Planning of the Bachelor Party: The Best Man is the event planner of the Bachelor Party. More importantly, it is the Best Man’s responsibilities to safeguard the groom and make sure that the festivities do not get out of hand.

Rehearsal Dinner: Make reservations, deliver deposits, follow up calls to wedding party members.

Confirm Travel Plans: Confirmation of honeymoon reservations, flight plans, special touches for the couple like limousine services, champagne, or flowers.

Moral Support: be supportive to the nervous groom, make sure plans are being followed, groomsmen are on time, arrangements are being executed properly.

Rings: Hold and safeguard the rings!

Documents: make sure the groom has the wedding license, travel documents, and any other paperwork needed prior to the wedding.

Toast: Make the traditional heartfelt and important toast to the bride and groom during the kick off to the reception. This can set the tone for the festivities to unfold.

Follow these ideas, tasks, and rituals and you will be on your way to planning an event to remember for a lifetime!

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Wedding Tears of Joy Wednesday, Jun 27 2007

As a wedding officiant, one of the most common concerns that comes up in my ceremony planning sessions with couples is the fear of crying while exchanging their vows. After the legal vows are taken care of, I offer couples the opportunity to exchange heartfelt personal vows with one another. Most couples I work with rarely embrace this opportunity. Most are very uncomfortable with the idea of crying in front of their family and friends. Yet I have found that the ceremonies that express tears of joy are those that most touch the hearts of everyone present.

I wanted to also include the male perspective in this article. Consequently, I have invited my love and business partner, Dean Guadagni, to discuss this issue with me.

SH: From a man’s perspective, how comfortable are you with the idea of crying at your wedding ceremony?

DG: Men are traditionally taught that to cry is considered a weakness; to cry in public is considered an absolute no-no, Susan.

SH: I recognize that, Dean. How could a man get through a wedding ceremony with the high emotional tone that such a day evokes and how could he feel satisfied that he has experienced it?

DG: Getting through a ceremony of this magnitude for most men could be a challenge. I can not speak to everyone as each individual will react in their own way. What I will say is that in order to help remove the anxiety from the ceremony, it is important for each individual to allow the moments to unfold. Any attempt to control your emotions will most likely result in the opposite effect. In essence a man can add more pressure, anxiety, and increase the likelihood of crying if he attempts to control the situation. Simply put guys. . . let things play out.

SH: So what would your advice be to men who are considering the inclusion of emotional thoughts and have fears about breaking down in public?

DG: My advice to men in this situation is to rise to the occasion. What I mean by this is to remember the importance of the day. Embrace the love you have for your bride, your family, and your friends. This is one of the best and most memorable moments you will ever have to share your true feelings to those who mean the most to you. You won’t remember any of the details of this great moment unless you relax and let it happen.

SH: Thanks, Dean, for sharing your perspective.

One final thought. I find that this concern is not purely a male issue. I think that many women can benefit by considering the male perspective shared here.

Thank you for visiting. Here’s to your love!

Susan Hanshaw
Wedding Officiant

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The Mountain Home Inn: A Magical Place Tuesday, Jun 26 2007

Nestled into one of Marin County’s most magnificent mountain top views, the Mountain Home Inn has long been an oasis spot for weddings of the heart. As Marin Visitor’s Guide so eloquently effuses: “Rustic Elegance in a Legendary Mountain Setting.”

The Inn has a long history dating back roughly 100 years ago. At that time tourists rode ferry boats in order to arrive in Marin. The ferry boats from San Francisco made as many as 60 trips per day. Since it’s prolific early history, the Mountain Home Inn (Mill Valley, CA) has been recognized as one of the most sought after wedding venues in the world. One of the best recommendations comes from the Trip Advisor written by a couple from San Francisco in November of 2006.

Weddings and receptions may be booked by going to the “Private Events” page on the Mountain Home Inn web site: www.mtnhomeinn.com or by contacting Marisa Affolder, Events Planner, at marisa@mtnhomeinn.com. This is a truly magical place!

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Creating a Personally Meaningful Ceremony Monday, Jun 25 2007

Welcome. Perhaps you have found your way to this blog because you are in the process of planning a wedding. My goal here is to inspire within you a vision which recognizes your wedding ceremony as an open door through which you will go forth to build your dreams together. Your ceremony has the potential to be so much more than just a generic legal ritual. It’s an opportunity to affirm the strengths of your relationship and to hold on to the memory of all the reasons why you are together. Your ceremony marks the very first moments of your married life, the springboard to all of your hopes and desires. Why not think of your ceremony as the blueprint from which you’d like to design your married life?Most couples embrace their wedding day with a vision and detailed plans through which this significant day will unfold. Yet for many, the ceremony is unknown territory. Few couples recognize how much freedom they have in creating a ritual that is personally meaningful. Here are just a few things you can talk to your wedding officiant about bringing into your ceremony so that it will unfold as a touching affirmation of your unique story:

• Highlights of how you came together
• What does the marriage means to you? What statement are you making to your family and friends and to each other?
• What you have done to successfully create your relationship?
• Are there any guests you’d like to specifically acknowledge?
• How would you describe your relationship?
• What do you value most in your partner?
• What is your vision for your married life?
• What do you want to promise one another?
• What do your rings mean to you?

Remember that the realization of a dream begins first with a thought. What better way to begin walking towards your dreams than by embodying them within your ceremony? I’ll be sharing many more ideas for designing a wedding ceremony with vision in future articles so I hope you’ll stay tuned. In the meantime, enjoy this most exciting time of your life.

Susan Hanshaw

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