Has Tradition Fell by the Wayside? Thursday, Aug 30 2007

by Susan Hanshaw, OMC

As a San Francisco wedding officiant, I have the honor to work in one of the most progressive areas of the United States. So when couples ask me how a certain aspect of a wedding ceremony is traditionally handled, my answers are two-fold. First I explain the tradition and then I tell them about many of the unique ways that couples now do things to more meaningfully express their story and what feels right for them. Here are some non-traditional elements that have enabled an authentic touch to a wedding ceremony that you might not have seen even a handful of years ago:

1. Fido as ring bearer. For many couples, their dog is a cherished family member. So what can’t their canine child participate in one of the most important days of their life?
2. Best Woman or Man of Honor. See our article, Man of Honor, for a deeper look at this modern-day practice which honors the significant role that can be played by a friend of the opposite sex.
3. Groomswomen and Bridesmen, following on the dynamic described above.
4. The bride getting escorted by both her parents or both her paternal father and step-father.
5. The groom escorting his mother up the aisle before taking his place up front.
6. Instead of asking, “Who gives this woman to this man?”, the officiant asks “Who supports this woman in her commitment to this man?” So that both families can have the opportunity to publicly express their support, the officiant can also pose this question to the groom’s family.
7. Decreased popularity of the veil.
8. Combining rituals from different heritages.

And here’s one final sway from tradition that falls into the category that I vote to turn back the clock—the groom and bride seeing each other before the ceremony. Sure, I know that many couples now choose to get as much of the photographs taken before the ceremony so they can move more quickly on to the reception. But from my officiant’s eye, I can tell you that one of the most magical moments I witness is when the groom takes his first glimpse at his bride as all the guests rise to welcome her. Why spoil that once-in-a-lifetime moment of heartfelt anticipation for the sake of efficiency or convenience?

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Bridalloans.com: Alternative Methods to Finance Your Wedding Saturday, Aug 18 2007

by Dean Guadagni

Wedding expenses and the costs associated with that big day have taken on Mt. Everest proportions. According to www.weddingvendors.com, the average wedding in the United States costs between “. . . $16,000 and $20,000.” If you are eloping or short on funds, and you do not have a rich aunt or uncle, then alternative methods of financing a wedding may be necessary.

One such source of alternative wedding financing can be found at www.bridalloans.com. Bridalloans.com is a Irvine, California based company providing “personal loans” to couples from $1,500 up to $25,000.

Bridalloans.com’s program has the following criteria for their “Unsecured Personal Loans:

*No collateral

*No home ownership necessary

*No application fee or pre-pay penalty

*Terms are 48 to 60 months

*Co-Signers accepted

*Interest free option available

Bridalloans.com claims to have a wide variety of interest rates dependent upon a couple’s credit rating. They also claim to provide “competitive” interest rates for these personal loans.

In addition to these claims, Bridalloans.com also states “We work with multiple lenders, not just one, and we frequently combine loan offers, when the credit line offered by one lender is less than needed to defray all desired costs.”

Bridalloans.com also allows consumers to apply for financing online, via fax, or through traditional “snail mail.”

If you are searching for methods to finance your wedding, take the time to investigate all sources of money. Ask that valued family member or friend for a loan. Go to a credit union or a bank you have been utilizing. If you own your own home, with equity, check out a possible “cash out” refinance.

The last step to alternative financing would be the wedding loan industry. If this is the method best suited for your situation, then investigate Bridalloans.com. Make it a day to remember for the wedding not the financing headache.

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Napa’s Ultimate Romantic Getaway: Yountville’s Vintage Inn Saturday, Aug 11 2007

Contributed by Dean Guadagni

Nestled in the tiny burg of Yountville, CA in the Napa Valley wine country, resides the Vintage Inn. A sister property to the Villagio, the Vintage Inn is one of the finest French country inns in the United States. The combination of estate-like spacious rooms, country quaint lushly appointed grounds, and supreme service provided by the staff gives the Vintage Inn a leg up on it’s competition.

The best characteristic the Vintage has to offer is its staff. Most are young kids with a never ending positive flow of helpful suggestions and “can do” cordialness. The generosity is obvious. On our recent stay, we were given an unlimited supply of free Mumm’s Champagne, served an incredibly delicious buffet style brunch, and were encouraged to take nearly everything that was not bolted or nailed down to the ground, home as a souvenir for free. We discovered that we received well over $100 worth of food, wine, and souvenirs within our room rate during our stay-an incredible value given the 4 star designation this property enjoys.

The staff’s wonderful service, positive attitude, and generosity was not the only draw to this resort. The rooms and grounds are picturesque and guaranteed to place you in a relaxed mood.

The rooms are spacious and fully appointed in French country colors (blue/white/earth tones). The king sized bed, with pillow top, was magnificent. The bathroom, the size of a Manhattan studio, had a very large jacuzzi tub, candles, mirrors, and a beautiful vanity. A mountain of fine linens were provided as was a very comfy terrycloth robe. Suffice it to say it was very romantic and worth the price of admission alone.

The final piece to any resort is the ambiance they wish to create from the outside. The grounds are a lush green combination of ferns, wild flowers, well coiffed hedges, and an assortment of emerald green grass spots. The walk ways are adorned with ground lighting and a beautiful canal is etched into each path with flowing water. There are multiple fountains on the property giving you the feeling you are on an estate property. This has the feel of a perfect place for your wine country wedding or anniversary celebration.

The amenities include a fantastic cabana like furnished lap pool area. Lounge seating and large dramatic furniture adorn each corner of the pool. Included in this equation is a large hot tub providing a great hot-cold experience from tub to pool. The Vintage Inn’s formidable restaurant provides pool service of their entire menu and full bar service.

Meadowwood, Auberge du soleil, and Silverado have long been the platinum gold standard of resorts in the Napa Valley. But if you are looking for a fantastic experience without the $600+ per night freight, try the Vintage Inn in Yountville, California. They aim to please; they fulfilled every expectation and more so on our trip.

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Breaking of the Glass: From Wine to Light Bulb Tuesday, Aug 7 2007

by Susan Hanshaw, OMC
San Francisco Bay Area Wedding Officiant

As a non-denominational wedding minister, it is not uncommon that I include a ritual at the end of the ceremony that honors the Jewish heritage of the bride or groom. While many are familiar with the festive shouting of “Mazel Tov!” which brings cheer to the end of this ancient tradition, not all are aware of the symbolism of the ritual itself. Could it be because this is a ritual that offers an assortment of symbolic messages? Some of these include:

A reminder of the impermanence of this world even at the height of our greatest joy.

Hope that the couple’s love for one another will last forever.

A reminder of the frailty of human relationships, that even the strongest of relationships is subject to disintegration.

The humorous implication that this will be the last time the groom is able to put his foot down.

I have begun to see light bulbs replacing the traditional wine glass as the object to be stomped on. The bulb is said to produce a louder pop and not provide the risk of cutting through shoes like its wine glass counterpart. Just like the wine glass, the light bulb in wrapped in a cloth napkin or pillow and placed on the floor for the groom to break with his foot.

Mazel Tov!

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The Dilemma of Personal Vows Wednesday, Aug 1 2007

by Susan Hanshaw, OMC
San Francisco Bay Area Wedding Officiant

I met with a couple last night to talk about their wedding ceremony. We were discussing various components that they might bring in and we came to the topic of personal vows. These are promises or words that the bride and groom share publicly that go well beyond the legal vow requirements. They’re an expression of heart. This particular couple shared a very common dilemma. They recognized the beauty that this element brings to a ceremony, yet at the same time they cherish their private space for expressing to one another the sentiments they hold most deeply in their hearts.

As a wedding officiant I truly understand and respect both sides of this dilemma. Yet I also have a different perspective as the person who faces the crowd. I see the ceremony as one of those unique opportunities in our busy modern lives to bring everyone together in the spirit of love. The guests are invited not just to witness, but to participate from their hearts. As such, the ceremony can be a reminder to everyone present on the virtues of love. A couple’s expression of personal vows can be received by the guests as either a reminder to appreciate what they have in their own lives, or a statement of faith and hope for what remains possible for them. We often recognize the potential in ourselves by seeing it in others.

If this is a dilemma that you are facing, my suggestion would be to revisit your higher vision for your ceremony. What statements do you wish to make to your family and friends present?

Good luck and best wishes,

Susan

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