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by Susan Hanshaw, OMC

As a San Francisco wedding officiant, I have the honor to work in one of the most progressive areas of the United States. So when couples ask me how a certain aspect of a wedding ceremony is traditionally handled, my answers are two-fold. First I explain the tradition and then I tell them about many of the unique ways that couples now do things to more meaningfully express their story and what feels right for them. Here are some non-traditional elements that have enabled an authentic touch to a wedding ceremony that you might not have seen even a handful of years ago:

  1. Fido as ring bearer. For many couples, their dog is a cherished family member. So what can’t their canine child participate in one of the most important days of their life?
  2. Best Woman or Man of Honor. See our article, Man of Honor, for a deeper look at this modern-day practice which honors the significant role that can be played by a friend of the opposite sex.
  3. Groomswomen and Bridesmen, following on the dynamic described above.
  4. The bride getting escorted by both her parents or both her paternal father and step-father.
  5. The groom escorting his mother up the aisle before taking his place up front.
  6. Instead of asking, “Who gives this woman to this man?”, the officiant asks “Who supports this woman in her commitment to this man?” So that both families can have the opportunity to publicly express their support, the officiant can also pose this question to the groom’s family.
  7. Decreased popularity of the veil.
  8. Combining rituals from different heritages.

And here’s one final sway from tradition that falls into the category that I vote to turn back the clock—the groom and bride seeing each other before the ceremony. Sure, I know that many couples now choose to get as much of the photographs taken before the ceremony so they can move more quickly on to the reception. But from my officiant’s eye, I can tell you that one of the most magical moments I witness is when the groom takes his first glimpse at his bride as all the guests rise to welcome her. Why spoil that once-in-a-lifetime moment of heartfelt anticipation for the sake of efficiency or convenience?