As a San Francisco wedding officiant, many of the couples I work with come to me familiar with the ritual of the Unity Candle. This ritual is used to symbolically represent the joining of two individual lives. It is a beautiful ritual to bring in to the end of the ceremony as a way for everyone present to experience the union expressed in a physical gesture. Unfortunately, there are a couple of disadvantages to the Unity Candle ritual that often disable couples from considering it: 1) Many venues do not allow open flames; and 2) For outdoor ceremonies, concern over wind blowing out the flame and destroying the moment. So many couples are delighted when I tell them about sand as an alternative to the flame candle.
The Unity Sand Candle ritual consists of two individual containers of sand being poured by the couple into a third container. I typically suggest that two colors be used to represent each individual life. The result when poured is a beautiful blending of a unique color and pattern, which so beautifully symbolizes the new life being created. An extra bonus is that you can take the candle home as a constant reminder of your wedding day.
Since rituals are most effective when their meaning is understood by everyone present, your officiant should explain the symbolism of the ritual to the guests. Here’s an example of how I incorporate it into the a wedding ceremony I create:
“Bride and Groom, today you join your separate lives together. I invite you now to symbolically express your union through the ritual of the Unity Sand Candle. The two separate containers of sand symbolize your separate lives, separate families and separate sets of friends. As you pour the two individual containers of sand into a third container, the individual containers will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one. Just like your marriage, these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers.”
The ritual flows very nicely after your rings have been exchanged and before you are declared husband and wife. I often include mention of the ritual, along with the ring and vow exchange as elements that I and the guests have witnessed as I declare a couple husband and wife. This adds one more tangent piece to affirm that the couple has walked through the passage of marriage.
